How Much Do We Really Need?

Note: This entry was written in the spring and inadvertently left as a draft. However, the message is not date- or time-specific.

No electricity.
No phones.
No heat.
No internet.
No transportation (other than one's own two feet!).

With the flooding a few weeks ago, we had this very predicament. There was a large tree across our driveway, so no way to get the cars out.

In some ways, it was like a snow day, until it stretched to two days, then three (we were able to get the cars out after two and a half days). The house got very cold. I didn't mind the candles and figuring out how to do things by the light of day (sort of made me feel like a pioneer woman). Then I got sick with a bad cold. It made me wonder how much and what I need to be comfortable in this world.

One would think the simpler we live, the less we need. But living simply out of choice is very different from being forced to live "simply" because you cannot afford to live any other way. And where is the dividing line between a pared down way of life and not having enough food on the table?

I like to think I don't need that much but I wonder. I wonder what would happen if there was a more serious situation, a prolonged period of doing without. The media has recently given us a heaping dose of cataclysmic events (movies such as 2012, The Road). Current events around the globe reek of wars, genocide, and crises like Hurricane Katrina and the earthquake in Haiti which give hardship and deprivation new meaning.

How much do I really need? I'm not sure. Most people would not voluntarily choose to test themselves on this score. I may never truly know the limits of my discomfort.

I do know I have what I need, and much more, and I'm grateful.

Daily Discovery

As a young teen, lying on the shag carpeting of my room with my feet up on my dresser, I sometimes thought about the many different roles adults play and how impossible it seemed to be all those people at once. I was just becoming acquainted with myself, looking at how I played out my limited repertoire: student, daughter, sister, friend, camper, dancer, etc. How can a person be all these things and go from one to the other so seamlessly, I wondered?

I wanted to fit in, be accepted. External appearances were important. The more I tried to keep up with everyone else, the more fractured I felt. Who was I really? It was at this time I started to have my own unique thoughts about the world. I was discovering I did have an internal life as well as an external one.

It is the deeply rooted sense of who we are inside that gives us our center and makes us feel connected to everyone and everything. We cannot go inside, be connected to this Source, and at the same time be concerned with comparing ourselves to everyone else. So it is no wonder that my teenage self was confused about who she was.

This feeling has lasted to varying degrees for most of my life. Like Dani Shapiro, in her memoir, Devotion, I came to a point in mid-life where I needed some answers. We each have our own questions, and they are often of an existential nature. Mine were primarily about my purpose, my contract in this lifetime. It is clear that I am on a path, a journey of discovery. I know that each and every day something new may be revealed. But what am I meant to be doing, what is my life’s work?

I’d like to think of myself as a patient person but I am not. I want to KNOW. I’ve always been like that. Sometimes, when the suspense of a story became too scary, too big, I flipped to the back of the book just to KNOW that the hero did not die. So, too, I want to know what is in store for me, where I’m heading.

What I do know is that it will unfold at the perfect pace for me. I need to be open, be patient and be aware of what IS happening, right in front of me and to me, each and every day (“moment” would be more than I could hope for). Then gracefully, effortlessly, it will be revealed.

The Space Between Breaths

I have just finished reading Devotion, a memoir by Dani Shapiro. It is a story of her spiritual journey, and it could just as easily have been mine or yours. So often I felt myself nodding at her self-discoveries, Truths with a capital “T.”

We all grapple with finding that quiet space within ourselves, trying to find it over and over again. That, and not getting lost in the distraction of everyday living. It is my greatest challenge.

Why do I go weeks without posting on this blog? I don’t make the time to sit and write—it’s not my “job” or “profession.” So, I go from one airplane ride to the next train ride, having a period of an hour or two, suspended between two destinations, like that space between breaths. It is in that space I can give voice to what I have been experiencing.

We each find space in our own way, when we come to realize we crave that quiet, that opening. Whether sitting in meditation or communing with nature, it is the first step, the awakening, in the process of becoming more conscious.

Soul-Connected Living

It's taken me some time to write about a workshop I took in early December with Tom Monte*, a gifted spiritual teacher. During this sabbatical year, I‘ve been researching classes, trips, and other experiences that would further me on my path. Tom’s class seemed ideal because it would help me get in touch with my deepest feelings about who I am and what I want to have in my life.

I first met Tom when he spoke to my class at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition in 2002, and I have had a couple of individual sessions with him over the years. He teaches classes both in the US and abroad, and also conducts a year-long Healer's Program.

The weekend workshop's theme was "Living From The Soul," and I felt so moved by what Tom was teaching that I am committed to making it part of my life's work. Tom has developed a construct of understanding what the deepest and highest parts of ourselves want and need to be fulfilled. He led the class through this process of discovery, and facilitated deep healing as each of the eleven participants shared their stories. We made use of drawings to bring us closer to our true feelings, and which also helped us to uncover some hidden aspects of ourselves.

Imagine working with someone who honored and respected each individual, shined a light on his or her best self, and then taught how to recreate this for ourselves in our daily lives. Tom is a true role model of what he teaches, which is rare in any field but particularly in one which requires integrity and total acceptance of where each individual is on his or her path.

One aspect of the class I'll share with you is the importance of prayer. It doesn't matter what religion we are or who we pray to. Connecting with the soul, and then communicating what it is we want most, coming deep from the heart, is a wonderful way to begin the process of realizing our dreams. And perhaps for some of us, making that connection with the soul in the first place is the biggest challenge. In our culture today, there is so much noise, it's no wonder we don't know what we really think, feel or want for ourselves. Spending some quiet time making that connection, through meditation or just sitting quietly, is a good first step.

Unlike teachings from The Secret, Tom doesn't believe we can ask for what we want, attract only those good, positive outcomes, and live a happy life. What we attract may make us happy for a short time, but doesn't necessarily fulfill the needs of the soul. He believes it is important for each of us to first get in touch with our own suffering, which most of us push down and try to forget. The reality is, however, that the experiences and memories of our suffering are deep within us and affect what we think and how we behave. Connecting with, feeling, and embracing our pain is the beginning of true connection with our soul and with healing.

The weekend spent with Tom at the Ananda Ashram in Monroe, New York was a deeply moving one. The ashram is on a lake and we had a lovely snow that weekend--it was magical. In allowing the experience to sink in over time, I realize what a gift I've been given to share a sacred space with both a wonderful teacher and fellow students to explore the depth of who I am, deep in my soul, and the path upon which it will unfold.

*Tom has co-written over two dozen books about health-related topics, and has therefore spent a lot of time with healers and medical professionals learning about what they do and how they do it. These healers include Michio and Aveline Kushi (preventing disease through diet), Susan W. Kurz (holistic beauty), Richard Fleming (inflammation), Wataru Ohashi (oriental diagnosis), and Joel C. Robertson (dealing with depression naturally; peak performance).

A Prophetic Step

I was fortunate to recently spend the better part of a week taking a class with Rosalyn Bruyere and her husband, Ken, in picturesque Sierra Madre, California. Rosalyn is best known for her work as a spiritual teacher, healer, clairvoyant and author (Wheels of Light, 1994). Working with Dr. Valerie Hunt at UCLA, she helped to provide scientific documentation of the human energy field. Over her esteemed career, Reverend Bruyere has studied a wide range of topics and worked with both allopathic and other healing professionals.

The topic for our study was The Prophetic Journey and the Chakra System. To be honest, it didn't much matter to me what the topic was. I had read Rosalyn's book and she had been recommended to me by two people who assured me "she is the real deal. . . she has integrity and is a wonderful teacher." Many of the 34 people in the class have been studying with Rosalyn for years--we're talking 10, 12, 15 years. They are doctors, nurses, psychologists, holistic practitioners and healers, and other professionals and lay people. Some came from as far away as Germany. After being in Rosalyn's presence and her energy field for 5 days, I can see why. She and Ken both have a tremendous breadth of experience. They have a lot to share and do so with grace and humor, while also making time for students to experience their own learning.

Just to give you a taste, here is a sprinkling of the topics we covered during the week:

1. Using one's intuition.
Pre-work for the course was reading a book by a prophet and writing what you thought and felt. We talked about the assignment briefly; it was only afterwards I realized that the learning was in the doing. Having read the Book of Micah, I could listen more intelligently to the discussion. We also learned about the history and forms of prophecy, who is a prophet, and linking the spiritual with the prophetic.

2. What the different chakras tell us--about prophecy as well as the state of our health . We talked about the color of the chakras, their energy and emotions, and how to strengthen them.

3. Applying what we learn to help others. We need to trust what we are feeling and don't need to always come to some sort of mental conclusion about it.

4. Creative play. We had assignments every day where we drew, we colored, we observed and worked with energy. We were out in nature. Rosalyn and Ken, who both paint, did a watercolor demonstration for us. I was so inspired, I'm starting painting lessons this week!

5. Helping make sense of the world we live in. For example, we talked about the study of different sciences and how sharing information between the sciences creates breakthroughs, which is happening exponentially in the internet age.

6. Some other topics: Harry Potter, the building of the pyramids, current events (e.g. earthquake in Haiti, Conan O'Brien and the Tonight Show, the Mayan calendar).

The week was food for the soul and senses. I left feeling very filled up and eager to take another class with Rosalyn. She teaches primarily in California, Cincinnati and Genermany. If you would like more information, visit her website: http://rosalynlbruyere.org/.

Multi-tasker--To Be or Not to Be?

As I was teaching a class to high school students last week about How We Eat, the topic of eating and . . .watching TV, being on the computer or their cellphone (iPhone, video game, etc.) or reading came up. I was happy to hear that many students did sit down to eat dinner with their families several times a week, but they thought the ability to multi-task was a badge of honor.

While sometimes a necessity, multi-tasking while eating is not a great idea. To start with, it inhibits good digestion. If you are eating and doing something else, you often have no idea what you are eating: you don't chew it well, can barely taste it, and have no sense of being full. Not to mention how quickly many of us eat because we are eager to be onto the next task. And how many of us eat standing up, on the run, with our muscles tense, not allowing our bodies to relax and process the food?

This has implications beyond eating, of course. When we do more than one task at a time, how well can we perform each one? I've been giving this some thought, and I believe there are tasks that are so practiced or mindless that it is possible to pair them with something else (like folding laundry and watching TV). But most tasks require more concentration. How well are we really doing each task? How focused can we possibly be?

Being accessible to friends and colleagues is easier than ever; we have gadgets galore which go off with different tones and jingles almost constantly. In a crowded room, who can pick out their own ring tone? "Was that mine?" we wonder, as five people reach into their pockets or purses. What had we been doing? Were we in a conversation with someone or listening to a talk? We are so available, responding to our electronic toys and reacting to the technology, that we forget that technology is supposed to help us manage our lives in a more thoughtful and productive way.

It's ironic that in attempting to stay socially connected, our behavior has actually become more and more anti-social. From loud conversations on the train, and furtive glances at Blackberry's during lunch, to having someone walk into us on the street while texting, we often feel we are not as important as these small machines. We are losing the human social connection.

Let's face it, there is nothing more important at times than knowing we have someone 's full attention, that they are listening and we are being heard. Children know this well, when they look over to see if we are watching during a ball game or come to show us their latest creation. With the pace of our busy lives, these times are the oasis in our days, moments to be valued. How many people are seeing therapists for just this reason, week after week?

Slowing down our lives so that we can focus on what is truly important might lead to making small changes that can have a huge impact on the quality of our relationships and our work . We can have the advantages of electronic connectivity while also feeling humanly connected, but it takes a concerted effort to define the boundaries. We need to give ourselves permission to shut off the noise and be present. When we try to be there for everyone and everything, we end up being there for no one, ourselves least of all.

New Beginnings

As we begin this second decade of the millennium, each of us is on the brink of a powerful transition. There is so much happening on a spiritual plane that I'd like to share some of the many astrological and numerological insights that might help us get a little further along our spiritual path.

Greer Jonas, an artist and numerologist I know, says that we are leaving the first nine years of the century behind and embarking on a "10" year, which numerologically is a "1" (1+0=1), a time of new beginnings. In any new year, it is beneficial to write down your goals and dreams, what you wish to attain and what you'd like to leave behind. However, this year, any NEW ventures (ideas, businesses, relationships, etc.) have a better chance of happening. The "0" signifies that one phase of life has ended and we're taking steps into the new and perhaps unknown. Anything is possible.

Interestingly, 2010, (2+0+1+0=3) is a "3" year, and as Greer says "is all about creativity in every form of self-expression: art, music, speaking, writing, dancing and listening. . .what creation can I 'birth' this coming year that perhaps I have never done before." Astrologer Pamela Cucinell says, "a '3' year. . . relates to the Empress card in tarot. The Empress symbolizes your creativity, fertility, playfulness and ability to tap into resources and opportunity. If you are feeling cut off from your ability to attract and connect to wealth and promise, . . . go within." So take your list from above, of what you want to manifest in 2010, and think "outside the box" about making it happen.

Astrologers provide detailed information about the most auspicious days for doing this work. Did you know that every month, based on your sun sign (mine is Scorpio), there are a couple of days ("power days") that are the best for accomplishing our goals and other time periods ("voids") where it is best to tend to the everyday (sorting, filing, clearing out) and not attempt to begin new projects? For example, even though 2010 is a year of new beginnings, astrologer Jenni Stone (Jennisd914@aol.com) suggests that we wait until after March 10 when Mars is no longer in retrograde, to begin a new business. Both Jenni and Pam Cucinell, two talented astrologers from my Westchester Holistic Network have websites and e-newsletters which have great information.

Happy New Year to all. May this be a year of articulating our most deeply-felt desires and thinking of creative ways to make them happen!