Multi-tasker--To Be or Not to Be?

As I was teaching a class to high school students last week about How We Eat, the topic of eating and . . .watching TV, being on the computer or their cellphone (iPhone, video game, etc.) or reading came up. I was happy to hear that many students did sit down to eat dinner with their families several times a week, but they thought the ability to multi-task was a badge of honor.

While sometimes a necessity, multi-tasking while eating is not a great idea. To start with, it inhibits good digestion. If you are eating and doing something else, you often have no idea what you are eating: you don't chew it well, can barely taste it, and have no sense of being full. Not to mention how quickly many of us eat because we are eager to be onto the next task. And how many of us eat standing up, on the run, with our muscles tense, not allowing our bodies to relax and process the food?

This has implications beyond eating, of course. When we do more than one task at a time, how well can we perform each one? I've been giving this some thought, and I believe there are tasks that are so practiced or mindless that it is possible to pair them with something else (like folding laundry and watching TV). But most tasks require more concentration. How well are we really doing each task? How focused can we possibly be?

Being accessible to friends and colleagues is easier than ever; we have gadgets galore which go off with different tones and jingles almost constantly. In a crowded room, who can pick out their own ring tone? "Was that mine?" we wonder, as five people reach into their pockets or purses. What had we been doing? Were we in a conversation with someone or listening to a talk? We are so available, responding to our electronic toys and reacting to the technology, that we forget that technology is supposed to help us manage our lives in a more thoughtful and productive way.

It's ironic that in attempting to stay socially connected, our behavior has actually become more and more anti-social. From loud conversations on the train, and furtive glances at Blackberry's during lunch, to having someone walk into us on the street while texting, we often feel we are not as important as these small machines. We are losing the human social connection.

Let's face it, there is nothing more important at times than knowing we have someone 's full attention, that they are listening and we are being heard. Children know this well, when they look over to see if we are watching during a ball game or come to show us their latest creation. With the pace of our busy lives, these times are the oasis in our days, moments to be valued. How many people are seeing therapists for just this reason, week after week?

Slowing down our lives so that we can focus on what is truly important might lead to making small changes that can have a huge impact on the quality of our relationships and our work . We can have the advantages of electronic connectivity while also feeling humanly connected, but it takes a concerted effort to define the boundaries. We need to give ourselves permission to shut off the noise and be present. When we try to be there for everyone and everything, we end up being there for no one, ourselves least of all.