Doing Hospital Time

During the past month, I learned more than I thought I ever wanted to know about hospital health care, and have thought about some small changes that could make a difference in helping people heal. Even with the purported best accomodations and intentions, it is still the case that our Western medical system sees the patient as a "care-receiver" and does not think more broadly about how to help each individual heal in the fastest way possible.

I recently spent 2 nights in Greenwich Hospital, which is a modern, beautiful, upscale facility. Many call it the "country club" of hospitals. Two days later, my mother was admitted to Lenox Hill Hospital in Manhattan, where I had the opportunity, over a 15-day period, to see another system at work. Perhaps due to my own recent experience, and my involvement as a Board member at Sarah Neuman in Mamaroneck (the Westchester campus of Jewish Home Lifecare which provides long-term, rehabilitation and home care), I felt slightly detached, and was able to watch and observe what was happening around me.

Here is some of what I learned, and I hope it may be of help if you ever find yourself in a position where either you or a loved one is in the hospital.

1. For the most part, doctors care very much about their patients, and want to understand patients' symptoms and have them get better as quickly as possible.

2. Many nurses are in their profession because they are caring individuals, and they tend to their patients efficiently and with compassion. However, there are those who see their work solely as a "job," and their patients know it almost immediately. These nurses leave call bells unanswered, do not get to know their patients, and either do tasks too quickly (and often painfully) or leave procedures for the next nurse to attend to. While these discrepancies are true of most professions, in a hospital, these differences can have a profound effect on the physical, emotional and mental well-being of the patient.

3. Some hospitals rotate doctors so that the patient rarely sees the same doctors unless the patient is there for an extended period of time. This was my experience, but my mother had a team of doctors she saw regularly. There were some other interns, residents and doctors on occasion, but she got to know her doctors and THEY GOT TO KNOW HER. I cannot stress the importance of this.

How many times did I need to repeat my "story?" In the two days I was in the hospital, I must have repeated it 5 or 6 times, once being awakened in the wee hours of the morning by an intern who probably had to get "just one more history" before her shift ended.

4. Which leads to the fact that it is virtually impossible to get a good night's sleep in the hospital. We have all heard this. From a healing perspective, it is essential for the body to rest in order to mend. My mother was awakened countless times from a deep sleep. Many times it was to monitor blood pressure or temperature, but there were other times the nurse could have used discretion and allowed her to get the rest she needed.

5. There is little to no understanding or connection between nutrition and health in a hospital. My roommate was a diabetic, and when she could finally have a meal of clear liquids, everything on her tray was loaded with sugar (jello, ices, fruit juice, etc.) Especially for people trying to recover from infection, sugar is something to be avoided. While hospital food, in general, can be very unappetizing, if you get to know the person taking the orders for meals, you can often request certain dishes more to your liking which are not on that day's menu.

6. Communication between medical personnel and patients is extremely poor. I'm not sure whether this has to do with the differences among patients (education levels, language barriers, cultural differences) and how sick they may be, a patronizing attitude, or if it's simply not a priority, but as a patient, you have to actively pursue getting your own test results. The doctor may mention it or not. Yet, there is no hesitation to draw blood, request urine samples, and prod and poke patients to no end, day or night, to get what they need.

7. Like most other things, there is a learning curve in the health care system, both as a patient and a family member. It is possible to overcome most of a hospital's shortcomings by having family and friends serve as advocates, and provide preferred foods and other essentials.

One aspect of the hospital I did appreciate was what I refer to as "hospital time." It might also be considered a time warp. In either case, everything slows down, and it is as if the outside world does not exist. The focus is on the present. No sense in talking about what may happen, other than in the context of care. In that sense, I didn't mind the hospital at all.

A Good Reminder

As I was getting ready to go to the city to visit my mother in the hospital, and so hoping she would be released today, a small volume of Pema Chodron teachings caught my eye. I opened it randomly, as I always do. Yet again, I was reminded that all moments unfold from this present moment. To live in the future or the past is a futile exercise.

How Much Do We Really Need?

Note: This entry was written in the spring and inadvertently left as a draft. However, the message is not date- or time-specific.

No electricity.
No phones.
No heat.
No internet.
No transportation (other than one's own two feet!).

With the flooding a few weeks ago, we had this very predicament. There was a large tree across our driveway, so no way to get the cars out.

In some ways, it was like a snow day, until it stretched to two days, then three (we were able to get the cars out after two and a half days). The house got very cold. I didn't mind the candles and figuring out how to do things by the light of day (sort of made me feel like a pioneer woman). Then I got sick with a bad cold. It made me wonder how much and what I need to be comfortable in this world.

One would think the simpler we live, the less we need. But living simply out of choice is very different from being forced to live "simply" because you cannot afford to live any other way. And where is the dividing line between a pared down way of life and not having enough food on the table?

I like to think I don't need that much but I wonder. I wonder what would happen if there was a more serious situation, a prolonged period of doing without. The media has recently given us a heaping dose of cataclysmic events (movies such as 2012, The Road). Current events around the globe reek of wars, genocide, and crises like Hurricane Katrina and the earthquake in Haiti which give hardship and deprivation new meaning.

How much do I really need? I'm not sure. Most people would not voluntarily choose to test themselves on this score. I may never truly know the limits of my discomfort.

I do know I have what I need, and much more, and I'm grateful.

Daily Discovery

As a young teen, lying on the shag carpeting of my room with my feet up on my dresser, I sometimes thought about the many different roles adults play and how impossible it seemed to be all those people at once. I was just becoming acquainted with myself, looking at how I played out my limited repertoire: student, daughter, sister, friend, camper, dancer, etc. How can a person be all these things and go from one to the other so seamlessly, I wondered?

I wanted to fit in, be accepted. External appearances were important. The more I tried to keep up with everyone else, the more fractured I felt. Who was I really? It was at this time I started to have my own unique thoughts about the world. I was discovering I did have an internal life as well as an external one.

It is the deeply rooted sense of who we are inside that gives us our center and makes us feel connected to everyone and everything. We cannot go inside, be connected to this Source, and at the same time be concerned with comparing ourselves to everyone else. So it is no wonder that my teenage self was confused about who she was.

This feeling has lasted to varying degrees for most of my life. Like Dani Shapiro, in her memoir, Devotion, I came to a point in mid-life where I needed some answers. We each have our own questions, and they are often of an existential nature. Mine were primarily about my purpose, my contract in this lifetime. It is clear that I am on a path, a journey of discovery. I know that each and every day something new may be revealed. But what am I meant to be doing, what is my life’s work?

I’d like to think of myself as a patient person but I am not. I want to KNOW. I’ve always been like that. Sometimes, when the suspense of a story became too scary, too big, I flipped to the back of the book just to KNOW that the hero did not die. So, too, I want to know what is in store for me, where I’m heading.

What I do know is that it will unfold at the perfect pace for me. I need to be open, be patient and be aware of what IS happening, right in front of me and to me, each and every day (“moment” would be more than I could hope for). Then gracefully, effortlessly, it will be revealed.

The Space Between Breaths

I have just finished reading Devotion, a memoir by Dani Shapiro. It is a story of her spiritual journey, and it could just as easily have been mine or yours. So often I felt myself nodding at her self-discoveries, Truths with a capital “T.”

We all grapple with finding that quiet space within ourselves, trying to find it over and over again. That, and not getting lost in the distraction of everyday living. It is my greatest challenge.

Why do I go weeks without posting on this blog? I don’t make the time to sit and write—it’s not my “job” or “profession.” So, I go from one airplane ride to the next train ride, having a period of an hour or two, suspended between two destinations, like that space between breaths. It is in that space I can give voice to what I have been experiencing.

We each find space in our own way, when we come to realize we crave that quiet, that opening. Whether sitting in meditation or communing with nature, it is the first step, the awakening, in the process of becoming more conscious.

Soul-Connected Living

It's taken me some time to write about a workshop I took in early December with Tom Monte*, a gifted spiritual teacher. During this sabbatical year, I‘ve been researching classes, trips, and other experiences that would further me on my path. Tom’s class seemed ideal because it would help me get in touch with my deepest feelings about who I am and what I want to have in my life.

I first met Tom when he spoke to my class at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition in 2002, and I have had a couple of individual sessions with him over the years. He teaches classes both in the US and abroad, and also conducts a year-long Healer's Program.

The weekend workshop's theme was "Living From The Soul," and I felt so moved by what Tom was teaching that I am committed to making it part of my life's work. Tom has developed a construct of understanding what the deepest and highest parts of ourselves want and need to be fulfilled. He led the class through this process of discovery, and facilitated deep healing as each of the eleven participants shared their stories. We made use of drawings to bring us closer to our true feelings, and which also helped us to uncover some hidden aspects of ourselves.

Imagine working with someone who honored and respected each individual, shined a light on his or her best self, and then taught how to recreate this for ourselves in our daily lives. Tom is a true role model of what he teaches, which is rare in any field but particularly in one which requires integrity and total acceptance of where each individual is on his or her path.

One aspect of the class I'll share with you is the importance of prayer. It doesn't matter what religion we are or who we pray to. Connecting with the soul, and then communicating what it is we want most, coming deep from the heart, is a wonderful way to begin the process of realizing our dreams. And perhaps for some of us, making that connection with the soul in the first place is the biggest challenge. In our culture today, there is so much noise, it's no wonder we don't know what we really think, feel or want for ourselves. Spending some quiet time making that connection, through meditation or just sitting quietly, is a good first step.

Unlike teachings from The Secret, Tom doesn't believe we can ask for what we want, attract only those good, positive outcomes, and live a happy life. What we attract may make us happy for a short time, but doesn't necessarily fulfill the needs of the soul. He believes it is important for each of us to first get in touch with our own suffering, which most of us push down and try to forget. The reality is, however, that the experiences and memories of our suffering are deep within us and affect what we think and how we behave. Connecting with, feeling, and embracing our pain is the beginning of true connection with our soul and with healing.

The weekend spent with Tom at the Ananda Ashram in Monroe, New York was a deeply moving one. The ashram is on a lake and we had a lovely snow that weekend--it was magical. In allowing the experience to sink in over time, I realize what a gift I've been given to share a sacred space with both a wonderful teacher and fellow students to explore the depth of who I am, deep in my soul, and the path upon which it will unfold.

*Tom has co-written over two dozen books about health-related topics, and has therefore spent a lot of time with healers and medical professionals learning about what they do and how they do it. These healers include Michio and Aveline Kushi (preventing disease through diet), Susan W. Kurz (holistic beauty), Richard Fleming (inflammation), Wataru Ohashi (oriental diagnosis), and Joel C. Robertson (dealing with depression naturally; peak performance).

A Prophetic Step

I was fortunate to recently spend the better part of a week taking a class with Rosalyn Bruyere and her husband, Ken, in picturesque Sierra Madre, California. Rosalyn is best known for her work as a spiritual teacher, healer, clairvoyant and author (Wheels of Light, 1994). Working with Dr. Valerie Hunt at UCLA, she helped to provide scientific documentation of the human energy field. Over her esteemed career, Reverend Bruyere has studied a wide range of topics and worked with both allopathic and other healing professionals.

The topic for our study was The Prophetic Journey and the Chakra System. To be honest, it didn't much matter to me what the topic was. I had read Rosalyn's book and she had been recommended to me by two people who assured me "she is the real deal. . . she has integrity and is a wonderful teacher." Many of the 34 people in the class have been studying with Rosalyn for years--we're talking 10, 12, 15 years. They are doctors, nurses, psychologists, holistic practitioners and healers, and other professionals and lay people. Some came from as far away as Germany. After being in Rosalyn's presence and her energy field for 5 days, I can see why. She and Ken both have a tremendous breadth of experience. They have a lot to share and do so with grace and humor, while also making time for students to experience their own learning.

Just to give you a taste, here is a sprinkling of the topics we covered during the week:

1. Using one's intuition.
Pre-work for the course was reading a book by a prophet and writing what you thought and felt. We talked about the assignment briefly; it was only afterwards I realized that the learning was in the doing. Having read the Book of Micah, I could listen more intelligently to the discussion. We also learned about the history and forms of prophecy, who is a prophet, and linking the spiritual with the prophetic.

2. What the different chakras tell us--about prophecy as well as the state of our health . We talked about the color of the chakras, their energy and emotions, and how to strengthen them.

3. Applying what we learn to help others. We need to trust what we are feeling and don't need to always come to some sort of mental conclusion about it.

4. Creative play. We had assignments every day where we drew, we colored, we observed and worked with energy. We were out in nature. Rosalyn and Ken, who both paint, did a watercolor demonstration for us. I was so inspired, I'm starting painting lessons this week!

5. Helping make sense of the world we live in. For example, we talked about the study of different sciences and how sharing information between the sciences creates breakthroughs, which is happening exponentially in the internet age.

6. Some other topics: Harry Potter, the building of the pyramids, current events (e.g. earthquake in Haiti, Conan O'Brien and the Tonight Show, the Mayan calendar).

The week was food for the soul and senses. I left feeling very filled up and eager to take another class with Rosalyn. She teaches primarily in California, Cincinnati and Genermany. If you would like more information, visit her website: http://rosalynlbruyere.org/.