Soul-Connected Living

It's taken me some time to write about a workshop I took in early December with Tom Monte*, a gifted spiritual teacher. During this sabbatical year, I‘ve been researching classes, trips, and other experiences that would further me on my path. Tom’s class seemed ideal because it would help me get in touch with my deepest feelings about who I am and what I want to have in my life.

I first met Tom when he spoke to my class at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition in 2002, and I have had a couple of individual sessions with him over the years. He teaches classes both in the US and abroad, and also conducts a year-long Healer's Program.

The weekend workshop's theme was "Living From The Soul," and I felt so moved by what Tom was teaching that I am committed to making it part of my life's work. Tom has developed a construct of understanding what the deepest and highest parts of ourselves want and need to be fulfilled. He led the class through this process of discovery, and facilitated deep healing as each of the eleven participants shared their stories. We made use of drawings to bring us closer to our true feelings, and which also helped us to uncover some hidden aspects of ourselves.

Imagine working with someone who honored and respected each individual, shined a light on his or her best self, and then taught how to recreate this for ourselves in our daily lives. Tom is a true role model of what he teaches, which is rare in any field but particularly in one which requires integrity and total acceptance of where each individual is on his or her path.

One aspect of the class I'll share with you is the importance of prayer. It doesn't matter what religion we are or who we pray to. Connecting with the soul, and then communicating what it is we want most, coming deep from the heart, is a wonderful way to begin the process of realizing our dreams. And perhaps for some of us, making that connection with the soul in the first place is the biggest challenge. In our culture today, there is so much noise, it's no wonder we don't know what we really think, feel or want for ourselves. Spending some quiet time making that connection, through meditation or just sitting quietly, is a good first step.

Unlike teachings from The Secret, Tom doesn't believe we can ask for what we want, attract only those good, positive outcomes, and live a happy life. What we attract may make us happy for a short time, but doesn't necessarily fulfill the needs of the soul. He believes it is important for each of us to first get in touch with our own suffering, which most of us push down and try to forget. The reality is, however, that the experiences and memories of our suffering are deep within us and affect what we think and how we behave. Connecting with, feeling, and embracing our pain is the beginning of true connection with our soul and with healing.

The weekend spent with Tom at the Ananda Ashram in Monroe, New York was a deeply moving one. The ashram is on a lake and we had a lovely snow that weekend--it was magical. In allowing the experience to sink in over time, I realize what a gift I've been given to share a sacred space with both a wonderful teacher and fellow students to explore the depth of who I am, deep in my soul, and the path upon which it will unfold.

*Tom has co-written over two dozen books about health-related topics, and has therefore spent a lot of time with healers and medical professionals learning about what they do and how they do it. These healers include Michio and Aveline Kushi (preventing disease through diet), Susan W. Kurz (holistic beauty), Richard Fleming (inflammation), Wataru Ohashi (oriental diagnosis), and Joel C. Robertson (dealing with depression naturally; peak performance).

A Prophetic Step

I was fortunate to recently spend the better part of a week taking a class with Rosalyn Bruyere and her husband, Ken, in picturesque Sierra Madre, California. Rosalyn is best known for her work as a spiritual teacher, healer, clairvoyant and author (Wheels of Light, 1994). Working with Dr. Valerie Hunt at UCLA, she helped to provide scientific documentation of the human energy field. Over her esteemed career, Reverend Bruyere has studied a wide range of topics and worked with both allopathic and other healing professionals.

The topic for our study was The Prophetic Journey and the Chakra System. To be honest, it didn't much matter to me what the topic was. I had read Rosalyn's book and she had been recommended to me by two people who assured me "she is the real deal. . . she has integrity and is a wonderful teacher." Many of the 34 people in the class have been studying with Rosalyn for years--we're talking 10, 12, 15 years. They are doctors, nurses, psychologists, holistic practitioners and healers, and other professionals and lay people. Some came from as far away as Germany. After being in Rosalyn's presence and her energy field for 5 days, I can see why. She and Ken both have a tremendous breadth of experience. They have a lot to share and do so with grace and humor, while also making time for students to experience their own learning.

Just to give you a taste, here is a sprinkling of the topics we covered during the week:

1. Using one's intuition.
Pre-work for the course was reading a book by a prophet and writing what you thought and felt. We talked about the assignment briefly; it was only afterwards I realized that the learning was in the doing. Having read the Book of Micah, I could listen more intelligently to the discussion. We also learned about the history and forms of prophecy, who is a prophet, and linking the spiritual with the prophetic.

2. What the different chakras tell us--about prophecy as well as the state of our health . We talked about the color of the chakras, their energy and emotions, and how to strengthen them.

3. Applying what we learn to help others. We need to trust what we are feeling and don't need to always come to some sort of mental conclusion about it.

4. Creative play. We had assignments every day where we drew, we colored, we observed and worked with energy. We were out in nature. Rosalyn and Ken, who both paint, did a watercolor demonstration for us. I was so inspired, I'm starting painting lessons this week!

5. Helping make sense of the world we live in. For example, we talked about the study of different sciences and how sharing information between the sciences creates breakthroughs, which is happening exponentially in the internet age.

6. Some other topics: Harry Potter, the building of the pyramids, current events (e.g. earthquake in Haiti, Conan O'Brien and the Tonight Show, the Mayan calendar).

The week was food for the soul and senses. I left feeling very filled up and eager to take another class with Rosalyn. She teaches primarily in California, Cincinnati and Genermany. If you would like more information, visit her website: http://rosalynlbruyere.org/.

Multi-tasker--To Be or Not to Be?

As I was teaching a class to high school students last week about How We Eat, the topic of eating and . . .watching TV, being on the computer or their cellphone (iPhone, video game, etc.) or reading came up. I was happy to hear that many students did sit down to eat dinner with their families several times a week, but they thought the ability to multi-task was a badge of honor.

While sometimes a necessity, multi-tasking while eating is not a great idea. To start with, it inhibits good digestion. If you are eating and doing something else, you often have no idea what you are eating: you don't chew it well, can barely taste it, and have no sense of being full. Not to mention how quickly many of us eat because we are eager to be onto the next task. And how many of us eat standing up, on the run, with our muscles tense, not allowing our bodies to relax and process the food?

This has implications beyond eating, of course. When we do more than one task at a time, how well can we perform each one? I've been giving this some thought, and I believe there are tasks that are so practiced or mindless that it is possible to pair them with something else (like folding laundry and watching TV). But most tasks require more concentration. How well are we really doing each task? How focused can we possibly be?

Being accessible to friends and colleagues is easier than ever; we have gadgets galore which go off with different tones and jingles almost constantly. In a crowded room, who can pick out their own ring tone? "Was that mine?" we wonder, as five people reach into their pockets or purses. What had we been doing? Were we in a conversation with someone or listening to a talk? We are so available, responding to our electronic toys and reacting to the technology, that we forget that technology is supposed to help us manage our lives in a more thoughtful and productive way.

It's ironic that in attempting to stay socially connected, our behavior has actually become more and more anti-social. From loud conversations on the train, and furtive glances at Blackberry's during lunch, to having someone walk into us on the street while texting, we often feel we are not as important as these small machines. We are losing the human social connection.

Let's face it, there is nothing more important at times than knowing we have someone 's full attention, that they are listening and we are being heard. Children know this well, when they look over to see if we are watching during a ball game or come to show us their latest creation. With the pace of our busy lives, these times are the oasis in our days, moments to be valued. How many people are seeing therapists for just this reason, week after week?

Slowing down our lives so that we can focus on what is truly important might lead to making small changes that can have a huge impact on the quality of our relationships and our work . We can have the advantages of electronic connectivity while also feeling humanly connected, but it takes a concerted effort to define the boundaries. We need to give ourselves permission to shut off the noise and be present. When we try to be there for everyone and everything, we end up being there for no one, ourselves least of all.

New Beginnings

As we begin this second decade of the millennium, each of us is on the brink of a powerful transition. There is so much happening on a spiritual plane that I'd like to share some of the many astrological and numerological insights that might help us get a little further along our spiritual path.

Greer Jonas, an artist and numerologist I know, says that we are leaving the first nine years of the century behind and embarking on a "10" year, which numerologically is a "1" (1+0=1), a time of new beginnings. In any new year, it is beneficial to write down your goals and dreams, what you wish to attain and what you'd like to leave behind. However, this year, any NEW ventures (ideas, businesses, relationships, etc.) have a better chance of happening. The "0" signifies that one phase of life has ended and we're taking steps into the new and perhaps unknown. Anything is possible.

Interestingly, 2010, (2+0+1+0=3) is a "3" year, and as Greer says "is all about creativity in every form of self-expression: art, music, speaking, writing, dancing and listening. . .what creation can I 'birth' this coming year that perhaps I have never done before." Astrologer Pamela Cucinell says, "a '3' year. . . relates to the Empress card in tarot. The Empress symbolizes your creativity, fertility, playfulness and ability to tap into resources and opportunity. If you are feeling cut off from your ability to attract and connect to wealth and promise, . . . go within." So take your list from above, of what you want to manifest in 2010, and think "outside the box" about making it happen.

Astrologers provide detailed information about the most auspicious days for doing this work. Did you know that every month, based on your sun sign (mine is Scorpio), there are a couple of days ("power days") that are the best for accomplishing our goals and other time periods ("voids") where it is best to tend to the everyday (sorting, filing, clearing out) and not attempt to begin new projects? For example, even though 2010 is a year of new beginnings, astrologer Jenni Stone (Jennisd914@aol.com) suggests that we wait until after March 10 when Mars is no longer in retrograde, to begin a new business. Both Jenni and Pam Cucinell, two talented astrologers from my Westchester Holistic Network have websites and e-newsletters which have great information.

Happy New Year to all. May this be a year of articulating our most deeply-felt desires and thinking of creative ways to make them happen!

Embracing the Gray

Have you ever seen a man or woman who is prematurely gray, with a head of white hair? My grandmother, Gogi (above) was 45 in this picture, but had been gray for fifteen years. Women of that era rarely colored their hair. For a woman today, embracing the gray can be beautiful, but it’s also a scary proposition. Only a few friends of mine have thrown away their hair color products, and they look simply stunning. But that’s only a few out of uh. . . .

I had been thinking of not coloring my hair, but got some resistance, especially from my younger daughter. My mother says she will never be gray; “it makes you look so much older.” She doesn’t remember her mother as anything but gray (Gogi actually had lovely white hair), and she herself starting going gray at a young age. So, mom decided she never wanted to appear older than she was, and therefore, I’ve never seen my mother’s natural hair color.

This past summer, still in a funk after losing our dog, Piccadilly, I didn’t feel like going to the trouble of coloring my hair. And then there was the feeling that I wanted to be more authentic. And coloring my hair meant putting chemicals onto my hair and skin and therefore into my body. I used semi-permanent color for several years (which washes out) and had graduated to a one-color process for the last 5 years or so. After five or six weeks, when the gray started coming in, I automatically made an appointment. I had no idea how gray I was or what my natural hair looked like.

I started testing the idea on friends. “I’ve been thinking of not coloring my hair anymore,” I’d say, and then wait for the reply, which was usually, “Really?” followed by their feelings about their own hair, why they color it and for how long they’ve been doing it. I’d hear about highlights and lowlights. They might ask about henna. And then they'd often share a story about a friend who decided not color her hair (really!).

Over the summer, I spent time at our Old Saybrook house. Life is relaxed up there. I saw some gray and simply ignored it. September approached and there was new gray growth, but it really wasn't that much. Then came the Jewish holidays, going to Temple and seeing family and friends. The gray was decidedly apparent toward the crown, but less so in the front, so if I pulled my hair back, barely noticeable. The weather was warm and I did just that. No big deal, right?

Come mid-October, we had a wedding. I didn’t cave. Now that Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's have come and gone, my hair has grown out about three inches but honestly, the gray is much less than I would have thought. I love going to the hairdresser just to get my hair cut. The gray is blending through my natural hair color--darker than the "color" I was getting—and I did it before there was a definite LINE. So, we’ll see. I reserve the right to go back to coloring my hair if I choose, but for now, I’m a natural woman.

71

Very soon after we moved into our house 13 years ago, I became aware of something unusual. Our master bathroom has rojo alicante marble: it’s an orangey-rust color with white and beige veins and markings running through it. In the shower, I saw the number “71,” on the same wall as the shower head.

I’ve seen this “71” hundreds of times, and taken it as some sort of a sign. But what did it mean? What occurred to me was that someone close to me would only live until age 71. Both my parents have now surpassed this age (but I held my breath until those years had passed). My husband would be next.

I decided to ask Alexandra about it and told her about the “71” at our last session. She paused for a moment to “hear” information from her spirit guides, and then said: “You think that it’s an age someone is going to die. But that’s not it. Spirit has been trying to get your attention for a while, and now you’re finally ready. Go back to the year 1971. What was that year like for you?”

After thinking about it for a moment and the age I would have been, I was carried back to a time when I was a young woman in the throes of her first romantic love. I felt loving towards the world, open, optimistic. It was exciting to be alive, not knowing what would happen next. “This is the feeling you are meant to reconnect with at this time in your life,” said Alexandra. “Think about it, meditate on it.”

Sweating ALL the Stuff

I decided to go to Alexandra's sweat lodge on the new moon. She does one each month at The Oaks in New Rochelle, and preparations start early. Due to some commitments, I arrived at 1:30pm in the pouring rain, bringing with me a few necessary items.

Some of you may have seen the story about a sweat lodge in Arizona run by James Arthur Ray where three people died. This story ran about one week before the sweat lodge I attended. I had a very different experience, but needless to say, I told almost no one what I was doing that Saturday afternoon.

The sweat lodge is built from a frame of wood, then covered with cloth and tarp. We certainly needed this, as we had a major storm with driving rain during the "sweat." Already there were two people tending to the fire --firekeepers--who keep the fire hot and heat the stones that are placed inside the lodge. Theirs was a particularly difficult job that day.

One of my first assignments was to make sure there was no light showing through the lodge interior. I crawled inside, careful not to cross the "power line" that runs from the fire to the lodge. With black cloth, we threaded pieces through the frame to block out small pinpoints of light. My second task was to help put on the door to the lodge. This consisted of a quilt affixed to a wooden pole which has ropes that hang down the other side and are secured by heavy rocks.

We then went back to the house to make prayer ties which would be hung in the lodge. Some ties were made for the ceremony itself, and others were our own personal ties. Each was a small square of fabric into which we placed a pinch of tobacco, and then we folded it and tied it onto a string after saying a prayer. When the ties were done, we were told what to expect during the sweat.

When it was time, women changed into skirts and t-shirts; men wore shorts. We all carried a towel, and since I didn't have flip-flops, I went barefoot. Any shoes left out in the rain would be soaked.

We were in the lodge for about three hours, and I'm told it was one of the gentlest sweats they ever had. There were 10 or 11 people, so it wasn't crowded, and it never got unbearably hot. It felt, at the warmest, like a sauna, and then only for a short time. Perhaps it seemed gentle because the elements outside were so aggressive! The sweat was conducted according to Native American custom, and it was a sacred ritual. Alexandra spoke, we drummed and sang songs, voiced our prayers and smoked a tobacco pipe. The stones were brought in four different times. Although I have yet to see if I am transformed in any measurable way, I did enjoy my first sweat lodge and am eager for the next one.